A new study conducted by researchers at the University of Michigan has concluded that KN95 face masks are most likely to make wearers “look like a little duckling.”
“Of the examined mask styles and configurations studied, the KN95 was empirically the most reminiscent of duck-like facial features,” said lead researcher and world-renown epidemiologist Maya Swanson.
While many were feeling excited at the thought of resembling their feathered friends, others, as sources informed, were feeling “rather ruffled.”
“How can I be sure I’ll look specifically like a nice little duckling and not a threatening goose or particularly short-necked swan?” asked skeptic Bill Ryan, who donned the little duckling lips-like face shield with such discomfiture.
Reports confirmed that Michigan Medicine was ardently cautious about releasing the news to the public, knowing the potential pushback that could emerge if their doctors were deemed “quacks.”
Michigan representative Drake Henderson flocked to a press conference last Tuesday to address everybody’s concerns: “KN95 masks are 100 percent going to make you go swimming in a little pond.”
At press time, several doctors sat in a circle all wearing their KN95s playing duck-duck-goose.
