Reports are coming in that the Charles family’s dinner-time conversations have devolved to announcing COVID cases like Hunger Games announcers.
“So I got a text from your aunt today, she’s got it,” reported father Ron Charles while grabbing the salt shaker. “Seems like she’s feeling pretty okay, though. Expected to make a full recovery.”
“Really? I wasn’t expecting that one. She seemed so careful, aww,” mother Tamara Charles was quoted. “Not a lot of us saw that one coming.”
The Charles parents have reportedly been taking their roles as the cavalier-yet-detached bearers of bad news to heart. “Mom’s been doing much more dramatic eyeshadow than usual,” reported Samantha Charles, oldest daughter. “I thought it was a mid-life crisis, or something, but now I’m not really sure.”
“Yeah, and Bob from the office’s got it. He’s got diabetes, so it’s, uh, not looking good,” Ron Charles reportedly said, seemingly winking at a film camera that didn’t exist in the Charles residence’s dining room.
At press time, the Charles parents were seen purchasing a cannon.
