Professor Unironically British

Thomas also unironically referred to a toilet as “the loo.”

Last Monday, students of a History 201 section were surprised to find that their professor was “unironically British.”

“I honestly couldn’t believe that was his real voice when I first heard it,” said freshman Jacob Dylan in response to hearing Professor Isaac Thomas speak at his first lecture. “It came totally out of left field. I mean, obviously, I know that there are British people, but usually, I take comfort in the fact that they’re separated from us by an entire ocean.”

Dylan explained the basis of his confusion and distrust: “He should have a more British-sounding name. Isaac Thomas? That sounds like a guy asking me to rush a frat, not asking if I want biscuits with my tea. He wasn’t even wearing tweed!”

Many students are echoing Dylan’s sentiment of confusion and betrayal in regards to Thomas’ country of origin. “I haven’t felt this betrayed since I figured out two-thirds of the Spider-Men are British. Who’s next? Superman? Batman? Dr. Strange? The guy from House?” said LSA freshman Cynthia Davis.

At press time, students were shocked when they saw Thomas get into his car and drive on the right side of the road.

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