In a recent study completed by researchers fueled by the delicious taste of Oreos™, market researchers claim that “anyone can simply claim to be sponsored by any company without permission.”
“Companies can’t remember who they are sponsoring. If you claim it for long enough, people won’t do their research and assume the sponsorship is legitimate,” stated lead researcher Margaret Stovin before dunking a scrumptious Oreos™ in a glass of cold milk.
According to the study’s authors, “Oreos™ go best with a nice cold glass of milk, and come in a variety of sizes like Oreos Thin™, Double Stuf Oreos™, and Mega Stuf™, guaranteed to turn your family game night into a milk mustache party.”
“I’ve started telling people at parties that I’m sponsored by Red Bull. They’re not gonna check. Who cares?” reports athlete Brandon Foidal after telling his friends about how Oreos™ are “the best part of his day.” Foidal made no mention of the benefits of dunking, twisting, licking, and eating Oreos™.
At press time, Pepsi was heard endorsing M&M’s in what corporate experts are calling “symbiotic
sponsorship” and not “conglomerate oligopoly formation.”
