“Free Speech And Open Platforms For Discussion Are Vital For Democracy,” Says Known Bed-Wetter, Charlie Kirk

Sources say there’s a 100% chance of piss in Kirk’s pants at any time.

In a series of tweets last Thursday, conservative talking head and known bed-wetter Charlie Kirk defended his positions on free speech, diversity of opinion, and the importance they hold in a democracy.

The Turning Point USA founder and infamous sheet soiler made these comments after multiple videos from his YouTube channel were removed on the grounds of spreading coronavirus misinformation.

“It is vital that every American do their own research and come to their own conclusions,” said Kirk, who in 2009 was banned from Mattress Firm for urinating on all of the beds.

After Kirk’s tweets got his account temporarily suspended, the man who is number one at going number one took to his podcast to profess to his millions of followers how his voice was being silenced.

“Big Tech has gone too far this time. This is not what a democracy looks like,” said the whiz of whizzing.

“Democracy means protecting the rights of its citizens to present and discuss their views openly and have diversity of opinion without fears of being silenced. The next war will be fought with information, not guns,” added Tinkle Tailor Soldier Spy.

At press time, the famed Prince of Pee Pee Palace was seen furiously typing into Google: “grounds for defamation.”

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