Guy Who Just Really Likes Swiping Cards Loves University Of Michigan

Person holding card up to card scanner
Matheson was seen fiddling with a card reader at home to pass the time.

Jacob Matheson, a junior in the College of Engineering, is reportedly “over the moon” that he has so many opportunities to swipe cards at the University of Michigan.

“When I was little, I wasn’t interested in dinosaurs, trains, or anything like that. I just loved swiping cards. When I watched Dora, I rooted for the fox, just so I could see more swiping,” said Matheson.

Matheson went on to say that the veritable bounty of opportunities to swipe his Mcard made him feel right at home: While at first afraid of coming to a school where one could only have to swipe a card every now and then, he feels very lucky to have come to Michigan instead.

Matheson describes himself not as a card- swiping “expert,” but simply an enthusiast. “I can’t always get it to work on the first few tries. The thing with me is that I just enjoy it too much, so I don’t mind missing a swipe or five. Sometimes, when I haven’t gotten to swipe recently, I like to pretend to be clumsy and swipe it wrong a few times, just to get more in. I relish the feeling of being at the front of a line of impatient students and just swiping my Mcard like ten or twenty times,” he explained.

“But the best thing about Michigan is that I usually don’t have to go very long before I have to swipe my card again. It’s like a field day here for someone like me,” Matheson said, smiling contentedly.

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