“I’m So Good At Wii Sports,” Reports Everyone 

A group of guys playing Wii Sports.
“No one can beat me in Wii Baseball. I know how to throw every type of pitch,” said everyone.

A recent poll has confirmed that everyone has claimed themselves to be “so good at Wii Sports.” 

“Oh my God, I’m the best at tennis,” said everyone. “I’ve been in the Pro Level since I was six. Don’t even get me started on bowling. I can get eight like strikes a game.” 

In addition to claiming to be “unbeatable,” everyone has also reportedly claimed that they have spent “years” practicing their craft. 

Reports confirm that in response to overwhelming belief from everyone about their superiority at Wii Sports, multiplayer games across the country have become “unsettlingly competitive.” 

“When I was playing Wii Sports with four of my friends the other day, it was dead-silent,” said James Vernon, a self-described “champion” at Wii Sports and at MarioKart. “You could tell that everyone went into it thinking they would win.” 

“It was so tense,” said another member of Vernon’s party, Kate Emerson. “Everyone thought they were being slick when they threw the splitter ball in baseball, but we all knew that trick.” 

At press time, everyone claimed to be “the absolute best” at Wii Sports Resort, but only “in that one game with the swords.”

Related News