Last Wednesday, passengers on an 8pm Commuter South bus were “held hostage” by an individual having an “incredibly loud and personal” speakerphone call.
“I was so confused and distracted I forgot to pull the cord for my stop. I just wanna go home!” said STAMPS junior Fiona Simpson through tears. “What kind of sicko just does something like that?”
“There’s really no other way to describe it: it was hell,” said Engineering sophomore Kenneth Wilson. “The last thing I needed after an entire lonely day on North Campus was to hear was someone crying to their mom about how they just bombed an exam.”
“It’s just part of the job,” said bus driver Lawrence Johnson with the countenance of a gas station night manager. “I couldn’t even count the number of times this has happened. It almost always could’ve been a text or waited until they got home.”
The individual in question was later discovered to be SMTD freshman Mike Richards. When reached for comment, Richards said he was simply “having a rough day.” However, sources close to Richard says he “says that every couple of days.”