Hey, honey, I know you’re really busy right now with school and everything, but your birthday is coming up soon, so could you send me a list of links to stuff you might want as a gift? Make sure to send a few, so I have some options to choose from.
What do you mean I should think of something myself? You’re so hard to shop for, and I just don’t know what you like. I mean, you change your interest all the time. Like, when you were four, you were obsessed with Dora the Explorer, but then in middle school, you started liking that boy band with the cute British guys. How am I supposed to keep up with that sort of thing?
It’s not my fault you don’t tell me what you want. How should I know? I can’t just ask about your interests or hobbies when you visit or when you call me, and you don’t even call me that much! The phone works both ways, you know.
Ugh, just forget it. I’ll get you some face masks or something girls your age like. Maybe next year you’ll be able to tell me who you are as a person and not make me guess with context clues from eighteen years of raising you in my own home.
