Class Of 2022 Still Unsure If Commencement Some Kind Of Trap 

The University of Michigan commencement ceremony.
“I’ve read Mockingjay. I know how this is going to go down,” said Lemmings.

University of Michigan seniors in the Class of 2022 have reported hesitancy about the upcoming in-person commencement ceremony, claiming that it could be “some kind of trap.” 

Following the social distancing guidelines enacted during the COVID-19 pandemic, the two most recent commencement ceremonies were not able to hold in-person gatherings, leaving some students to wonder whether the promise of a normal graduation is “could be a set up.” 

“They had to cancel the one in 2020, and the 2021 commencement was all virtual,” said Cara Lemmings, a current LSA senior. “How can we be sure they won’t pull the rug out from under us this time? It could be a cruel prank. I wouldn’t put it past the administration, the bastards.” 

Lemmings’ sentiments have been echoed by many of her fellow classmates, including Zach Feinman of SMTD: “I bet you twenty bucks we all show up to the Big House in our caps and gowns, and the gates will all be locked. Or they’ll let us in but we have to sit through like five hours of a Powerpoint presentation where the university sucks its own dick for actually delivering on their own promises for once.” 

With Commencement 2022 quickly approaching, multiple seniors have reported considering making other plans that day “just in case the whole graduation thing doesn’t work out.” 

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