Recents reports have shown that freshman Stan Montagne’s youthful exuberance is no match for the task of standing on the Blue Bus.
“I came to this school with such high aspirations and wonderful dreams,” commented Montagne. “All it took was trying to keep my balance on a bus to dash all of it.”
Montagne had come to college confident in his dexterity and balance. This confidence was lost when his Bursley-Baits bus rounded a corner and Montagne stumbled.
“You just don’t understand the struggle. Trying to stay standing at every corner, sweaty hands desperately trying to grasp the bars while everyone is watching,” Montagne stressed in a statement. “I just don’t think I’m strong enough for any of it.”
The bus was reportedly shaking and making loud noises during the ride as well.
“These rides are an attack on your senses and your mind,” Montange noted. “How do they expect us to live like this?”
At press time, Montagne was seen walking all the way to North Campus.