A new U-M student engagement study has reported that approximately zero percent of University students “have any idea why that car is on the Diag.”
“It’s just wrong. This is a place for walking! Why would someone need a car here? What could they possibly be doing?” questioned one witness.
The car, which was seen parked in front of the Shapiro Undergraduate Library, reportedly befuddled nearly 100% of pedestrian traffic around its location.
Other students responded to the survey with concerns about the car’s placement on the Diag. “It’s kind of scary to be walking down the Diag and then also have a car driving two miles per hour ten feet behind you. What if I got hit?” said one student.
“It’s like seeing a wild animal,” said Marian Johnson, commenting as she walked out of Shapiro. “I mean, like, go back to where you came from, car, you don’t belong here!”
At press time, witnesses reported yet another car driving on the walkway in front of East Hall.
