Total Imbecile In 36C First To Get Up After Plane Landing

Man at the back of an airplane standing up
Bumbling fools everywhere called McClure’s actions a “classic move.”

Sources report that the “complete imbecile” in seat 36C on a Spirit Airlines flight from Dallas/Fort Worth to Detroit was the first to get up after the plane’s landing.

Dwayne McClure, the man most were calling an “absolute fool” by other passengers, reportedly stood up “as quickly as humanly possible” after the plane came to a complete stop on the tarmac.

“What does that fucking dunce think is going to happen?” reported Anne Kessler, who was still seated in 27F during the incident. “Does he think he’s gonna be the first to get off? Literally relax, you goober.”

After standing up, though no passengers had left the plane at all, the reported “buffoon” was reportedly “still standing,” though he reported starting to lose feeling in his legs after standing in a tiny plane row for minutes.

“With that attitude, I expected him to get out and barrel his way through the people in the first thirty rows with that fat-ass carry-on bag,”  reported a flight attendant who watched McClure’s “abrasive” action. “How’d he even get a bag that annoyingly huge onto this plane? It looks way over the 50 pound limit.”

At press time, McClure was spotted picking up someone else’s nondescript black suitcase at the baggage claim, and walking away without checking if it was his.

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