Oh shit, what were you even thinking? You should’ve known this was a bad idea. Saying you like Marvel in a film class is the equivalent of jumping into shark infested waters with an open wound, and oh boy, are the sharks circlin’ you now. But we anticipated this. Here’s a comprehensive guide of how to handle the situation.
Step 1: Don’t Panic
The film bro’s first reaction will be to tense up and flash their eyes at you. You cannot show weakness. If you do, it’s game over.
Step 2: DO NOT Reference Marvel Anymore
No matter what you do, don’t say anything about moments like “I am Iron Man,” “Avengers Assemble,” the Thanos snap, or when Thor played Fortnite, unless you want to sit there for 30 minutes while a guy explains how shit the CGI is, and how Disney is the devil. Doesn’t matter if you just like superheroes and they remind you of your youth and you like to have fun at movies. This is not your world. It is his. Joy has no place here, unless that joy comes in the form of 120 minutes of some of the most depressing shit you’ve ever seen.
Step 3: The Best Offense Is A Good Defense
The easiest way to diffuse the situation is to lie down and accept that they are better than you. Anything else could be catastrophic. You’re in too deep to deny, so your best approach is to acknowledge and hope they move on. Tactics that have worked in the past are “Oh the lighting is terrible, but the stories are fun!” or “Yeah, I know they’re ruined ‘true’ cinema, but I’ve loved comic books since I was a kid.”
Step 4: Know The Jargon
You do not have enough knowledge for this. Just skip this step.
Step 5: Mirror Or Play Dead
If you’ve gotten to Step 4, you are unfortunately now in this for the long haul. You now have two options:
1) Stay silent and let him tire himself out in his flurry of references and allusions and things he read off Reddit until he cools off. This is the same tactic opossums use in the wild to survive.
2) Say everything he says back to him. This will reinforce the idea in his mind that he is correct, and is likely to expedite the process of his ramblings.
And whatever you do, don’t bring up anything about Ryan Gosling. This will unleash a fury unbeknownst to mankind. If this happens, best to get out of there immediately before he brings up Blade Runner or A Place Beyond the Pines.
