Dusty Cheerio Found In Dorm Closet Reminds Student Of Those Who Came Before

Kent said the beige, circular nature of the Cheerio represented the dated, yet painfully infinite nature of Time.

Freshman Shelly Kent moved into her dorm August 27th, 2022. Upon entering the room she described a feeling of “immediate disappointment.”


Kent said, “I mean, it’s not like I was expecting five-star accomodations, but it was just a prison cell.” Everything changed, though, when Kent found a singular, dusty Cheerio in the closet of her Bursley dorm. “When I saw that Cheerio, I saw God. I felt like I heard a voice of the past saying ‘you got this’,” Kent reports.


The original owner of the Cheerio, Fred Balser, reported that he “didn’t mean to leave that there,” and that the Cheerio “probably fell out of my pocket when I was hiding from my roommate.”


Kent, however, believes that it was divine intervention. “My guardian angel must have been living in this room before me, and left me that Cheerio for only me to see. In that grain of wheaty, heart-healthy cereal I see the hundreds of Michigan alums that have lived in my disgusting dorm room before me and I see those that will follow behind. This cheerio ties us together. I believe it has been passed down for centuries.”


At press time, Balser was seen asking Kent if he could have his cheerio back as a little midday snack.

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