Harbaugh’s Pets Chasing Ball Again

Jim Harbaugh and a football player wearing a dog collar.
Harbaugh’s pets are reported to be “a little more aggressive this year.”

As the school year heats up, people have reported that the University of Michigan football coach Jim Harbaugh has been hard at work taining his pets to play games and chase balls again. 

Harbaugh reports that, “show season has just begun, so I gotta get these good little fellas back into shape. These dogs gotta practice their wrestling techniques, improve their zoomies to make them more intentional, and work on weaving through things.” 

After Aidan Hutchinson, who won best in show in 2021, was acquired by a new owner, Harbaugh has reportedly been on the prowl for a new top dog. Rumors are that his new “feisty little fast one,” JJ McCarthy, might be in the running. 

Harbaugh recently reported to ESPN that he is pro-life, and rumor has it that this is just a creative strategy for breeding new pets. He has reportedly said to, “let that unborn quarterback… I mean fetus… I mean child… be born. If you can’t train… care for it, Sarah and I will take that quart… pet… baby.” 

Harbaugh has since retracted that he will take the baby, as he remembered he already bred 7 pets with his wife that are nowhere near best in show. 

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