I’m Just Looking For Love In The Big Apple 

A worm on the ground.

This is the story of how I found love in the Big Apple. 

I’m just a hometown worm from the middle of butt-fuck nowhere Kentucky. I moved to a big apple after getting a promotion at work. I had my dream job and my dream life. But not my dream worm. 

That’s when I met Quirky Worm. Quirky told me I needed to get out more and took me to a party where I met Handsome Worm. We hit it off right away. 

Handsome Worm told me all about his life, and he asked me about mine. When I said I was from Kentucky, handsome told me he could never be with a small town worm. So I punched him in the sperm duct, and yelled “I’ll just fertilize myself you bitch!” I ran crying to catch the nearest hole back to Kentucky. 

Handsome blocked the hole, grabbed me by the clitellum and told me, “No. I can learn to love you. I want your sperm inside me or my sperm inside you, whichever is more convenient for you, my hermaphrodite seductress.” 

And that’s the story of how I met my husband of seven years, Handsome Worm. 

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