These Man-Made Horrors Are Perfectly Within My Comprehension

A man facing the camera.

Listen, these man-made horrors may be beyond your feeble comprehension, but I get it, actually. You’re just scared of scientific advancement. Welcome to the new digital Metaverse! Either get with the program or go out with the e-waste, loser. 

No, I don’t think it’s “fucked up” that the internet is essentially a decentralized experiment of staggering scale on the entirety of modern humanity. What are you afraid of? Going viral on accident? Losing your attention span to the infinite scroll? Having your data mined, your habits tracked, and your free will manipulated by an artificially intelligent, profit-maximizing, privitized and unregulated algorithm? BOOMER! 

While you’re busy boo-hooing about “the death of art,” I’m having the time of my fucking life plugging MCU/Hentai mashups into Dall-E. Oh, you’re worried about the disintegration of the distinction between human beings and computer processors? Go hug a Boston Dynamics robo-cop dog about it, snowflake. 

The possibilities? Limitless! Literally any good or service I can imagine is at my fingertips for a seven-day free trial. I am only limited by the credit card numbers I am willing to enter and the quantity of email addresses I am willing to create. My identity is infinite, yet confined, measured by the size of the binary footprint I have left in the incalculably large digital graveyard of the World Wide Web. Your consciousness is the ghost in the machine? Mine is an ocean of zeros and ones, stretching into endless, eternal grayscale. 

Anyway lol look at this TikTok my friend just sent me. 

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