Halloweekend Costume Looks Totally Sick, Poorly Suited  For This Fall Weather

Two men wearing construction worker costumes
A survey of mothers has advised everyone going out this upcoming weekend to “put jackets on over their costumes.”

Reports claim last Saturday that  LSA sophomore Pablo Gutierrez’s  Halloweekend costume was “totally sick”  in that it was by all means poorly suited  for this fall weather. 

Sources affirmed that Gutierrez, who  was giddy to be going as a sexy devil, was  blissfully unaware that he was bound to  catch an illness of demonic proportions.  

“I just wanna look good,” he claimed,  while slipping into some rather skimpy  and skin-tight crimson red short shorts.  “I don’t care how bad I feel afterwards.” 

Reports remarked the remainder of the  outfit was complete with plastic devil  horns as sharp as the sore throat pain  Gutierrez would soon be feeling. 

Indeed, while others would soon be  out trick-or-treating, Gutierrez was  reportedly tricking himself into believing  that “mistreating his body for the sole sake  of sex appeal wouldn’t warrant unwanted  consequences.” 

“I’m sure he’s cold in that fit, but damn  he looks hot!” said fellow partygoer Jared  Michelson, unbeknownst to the fact that  Gutierrez would likely be even hotter with  a fever of 102 in due time. 

At press time, Gutierrez was seen trying  to choose between a second sexy pirate  or sexy priest costume, heedless to the  fact that either option would result in his  bedrest for the remainder of the month.  

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