Kid On Baking Show Whose Cake Fell Taking It Like Real Fucking Loser

A young girl in a kitchen next to a spilled cake on the floor
Witnesses agreed that Griffin needs to “grow the hell up.”

“Kids Baking Championship” contestant  Katie Griffin, 7, whose three-tiered Thanksgiving-themed cake fell while transferring to the judge’s table, reportedly handled the tumble like a “real fucking  loser.” 

“She immediately started crying,” said judge Duff Goldman, who initially had hoped to disqualify Griffin from the competition on the grounds of “being a big fucking baby.” “I mean, Jesus, you’ve got two minutes left on the clock and you’re gonna spend that time sobbing about your own mistake? Try some dowels next time, idiot.” 

Griffin, who went on the show to “bring awareness to kids with peanut allergies,” hoped to open a bakery with any monetary winnings. The potential confectionary has  been described since the incident to have  “probably sucked with such an emotional  failure in charge.” 

“We were almost equally disappointed in the kids who gave up their own time to go over and hug Katie,” said fellow judge Valerie Bertinelli. “However, her loser attitude is a true embarrassment to the culinary world.” 

Though Griffin’s cake was virtually unrecognizable from its original form following the incident, her “genius” use of nutmeg has allowed her to remain in the competition for another week, barring any additional meltdowns.  

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