Research Team Tracks Down Source Of Subway Smell In Union Basement

An image of the Union basement subway.
The team also found similar hints of the smell at an intersection near State and Packard.

A university-funded research team has recently hunted down the source of what has been described as “a bread-like smell” in the Michigan Union basement, concluding that “there’s a Subway down there!”

“We were tasked with tracking down the cause of the olfactory phenomenon frequently reported to occur in the basement of the Michigan Union,” said research lead Jared Taylor. “The team was very methodical in our investigation. We wandered around down there for hours until we found the sensational source of what we have best defined as an Italian loaf- scent.”

The team reportedly encountered some difficulties when triangulating the exact location, as they were met with conflicting “orange chicken” smells that required isolation of the Panda Express location.

“There were absolutely some points of frustration along the way,” added Taylor. “It’s difficult when you can smell a sandwich but have no idea where it’s coming from.”

Taylor’s research lab has since moved focus to investigate how the Burton Memorial Tower bells work.

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