After months of receiving customer complaints that the new 2023 Toyota Tacoma “smells like God has left this Earth,” Toyota conducted an investigation and found that the vehicles were accidentally constructed with gassy little elves inside.
The case revealed that a former employee of Toyota, Justin Baker, has been dabbling in sorcery as a side hustle. According to Baker’s apprentice, Parker Monson, “he became fascinated with these mischievous creatures after an army of them ripped out every single strand of hair on his body one night while he was absorbing energy from the forest. After that fateful night, he worshiped those baby humanoids as if they were his own.”
Fellow coworkers of Baker reported that during the production of these vehicles, they observed some unconventional behaviors from their former coworker. He allegedly insisted on including a set of small tunnels in the cars’ interior “just in case,” refusing to explain a situation in which they would be utilized.
Additionally, Baker managed to single-handedly convince his entire department that the little creatures trailing behind him were their own hallucinations. His success in mass gaslighting is regarded as “the most impressive component of the entire operation.”
Darlene Jacobs, a Toyota owner for over 30 years, “couldn’t stop huffing that new car smell” after purchasing her vehicle. She described the stench as “the type of stink that’s so stinky you just can’t get enough.” Jacobs ultimately fell victim to her addiction after going into cardiac arrest as a result of an overstimulation of her senses.
At press time, Toyota was reportedly caught ordering the elves to eliminate those threatening to sue.
