After an utterly dominant performance, sophomore Court Henderson was declared the winner of his October 15th history discussion section for being the loudest student. According to the syllabus for HISTORY 205 — a survey course on the history of...

After witnessing LSA sophomore Dan Reinhardt apply not one, not two, but three distinct pumps of Purell to his hands upon entering his Creative Writing classroom, multiple onlookers unanimously confirmed that Reinhardt must have just finished doing...

The University of Michigan announced this week that it will be adopting a new Alcohol Edu course for incoming freshman students who need to learn how to drink in the big leagues. In a reversal in policy, the university is now committed to teaching...

Multiple sources have confirmed that during an English 389 peer review, Junior Evan Michaels was being a “massive cock.” “All he did was correct my commas instead of giving any type of constructive feedback,” said Sophomore Sally Sanders,...

Critics have accused DC Films’ Joker of glorifying gun violence and having the power to incite real-life incidents. What do you think? “If you think about it, Gotham City is a character in itself.” —Peter Winslow, FTVM Sophomore...

Witnesses report that University of Michigan junior Ella Schafer, who was talking on the phone on the Diag, looked like she could cry at any moment. While Schaefer was allegedly speaking to her mother Brenda Schafer, sources are still working to...