A conversation in a campus student org GroupMe ended suddenly as club treasurer Matt Erikson “liked” a message. The group chat had been steadily moving along in conversation about fundraising for the next semester, when Matt made his decision to...
After learning of the horrors of deforestation currently occurring in the Amazon, environmental studies major Max Greentree has changed the name of his famous jungle juice recipe to “Big Alcohol Pipeline.” “I want my drink to fit with the...
Sources have confirmed that an elderly man was spotted walking in Nichols Arboretum at a pace significantly faster than the average pedestrian. “I was walking through the peony garden when I heard rapid footsteps behind me,” said LSA junior...
Recent reports have confirmed that an interpretation of area woman Georgia Simpson’s bad dream was even more upsetting than the dream itself. “The dream alone was enough to freak me out. I was getting ready to go on a trip, and everytime I tried...
Junior Matt Hornbach was startled last Tuesday when he received a DPSS Crime Alert email letting him know a crime had occurred in a tone that sounded as though DPSS was calling on him to do something about it. The alert, which read, “Man spotted...
Recent reports have suggested that the Michigan Union Tower is just three secret societies standing on top of each other in a trench coat. The suspicion comes after two out of Michigan’s three secret societies disbanded, and the Union Tower...
