Junior Deems It Warm Enough To Half-Unzip Jacket

Gauging the outside temperature as too warm for a full-zip yet still too cold for a full-unzip, junior Raymond Harris deemed it appropriate to half-unzip his jacket on his walk to class this past Thursday. “Campus is finally warming up,” said...

Unprepared Oaf Asks To Borrow Pen

Failing to arrive to his Amcult 275 discussion on Tuesday with any semblance of readiness or professionalism, unprepared oaf Dermott Tobias has reportedly asked to borrow one of your pens. Moments after your professor began writing on the board,...

Midterm A Piece Of Cake

Following weeks of stressing and test preparation, several students of Chem 262 were reportedly relieved to walk into their examination room and find their midterm was a piece of cake. “I heard the exam was going to be easy,” said LSA sophomore...