Schlissel has been known to like his own posts in the GroupMe. On Friday, the Board of Regents and several high-ranking University administrators reported they were exploring new communication options after President Mark Schlissel “totally...

A new campus resource proudly displays its profound lack of necessity.   With the opening of the Shauna Diehl Printer/Scanner Lounge on the seventh floor of Wieser Hall, University officials took the opportunity to praise the school and...

Calling the occasion “childish,” “stupid,” and “lame,” a group of incoming freshmen reportedly mocked but ultimately attended an East Quad bracelet-making event hosted by their orientation leaders. Orientee Jason Cartwright was overheard...

Senior Ella Flemming is reportedly in the final stages of deciding which friendships she will put effort into when she leaves for her new job in New York after graduation, and which she will quietly discard.

A report released by the University’s Annual Budget Committee claims that the coming switch from CTools to Canvas will be the University’s least expensive waste of money in many years.

Stating that the current infrastructure was “underwhelming” and “should be outdated by now,” the United States population expressed disappointment that there are too-few tubes involved in their day-to-day lives.

After appearing on the cover of last Wednesday’s Michigan Daily, a proud President Schlissel was seen hanging a copy of the paper in his office.