• No menu assigned!
"Better than sex,
   twice as often."
The Every Three Weekly
  • Campus
  • National
  • World
  • Sports
  • Opinion
  • Infographics
  • The Click House
  • Encyclopedia
  • Newsletter

Schlissel Hangs Daily Article About Himself On Office Wall

After appearing on the cover of last Wednesday’s Michigan Daily, a proud President Schlissel was seen hanging a copy of the paper in his office.

  • Jul 8, 2016

Local Woman Unsure Whether Revealing Outfit Symbol Of Female Empowerment Or Objectification

Before leaving for Rick’s this past Saturday, LSA junior Lisa Zelewski reportedly wondered whether her outfit was “sexy and empowering” or “slutty and objectifying.”

  • Jul 8, 2016

Lame Duck CSG President Struggles to Push Through Fishbowl Tech Consultant Nomination

In a move that many representatives have vowed to fight, outgoing CSG President Cooper Charlton recently nominated Craig Dischman to fill the Angell Hall campus computing site’s recent IT vacancy.

  • Mar 18, 2016

Report: Booty Call’s Grandpa Couldn’t Have Died At Worse Time

Following a sudden heart attack on Tuesday afternoon, the grandfather of LSA junior’s casual sex partner, Marissa Cohen, reportedly could not have died at a worse time.

  • Mar 18, 2016

House Party Downgraded To Pregame After Fewer Facebook RSVPs Than Expected

LSA junior Matt Copeland was forced to change the Facebook description for his house’s event from “party” to “pregame” last Wednesday after fewer than 30 people RSVPed from a pool of 233 invitees.

  • Mar 18, 2016

New Luxury High-Rise Offers Spacious Rooms, Great View Of Financial Aid Recipients

Set to open in fall 2016, new luxury apartment building Granite Lofts will reportedly offer students state-of-the-art rooms as well as premium high-rise views of all the financial aid recipients down below.

  • Feb 19, 2016

Ladies’ Night At Rick’s Really Making Up For Wage Gap

Female patrons of Rick’s American Cafe are reportedly impressed with management’s efforts to curb centuries of overt sexism by offering free cover for all women every Thursday night.

  • Feb 19, 2016
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
3 OF 22
Latest Posts
  • Michigan Basketball Fans Revealed To Be True April Fools

    • Apr 1, 2021
  • An upper-and-lower-case O-umlaut

    ÖÖÖÖÖ: These Words Could Really Use An Umlaut!

    • Apr 21, 2022
  • A Man in a drive Jacket looking like a jackass

    What To Expect When You Say You Like Marvel Movies And The Kid In Your Film Class With The Drive (2011) Jacket Raises Their Hand To Speak

    • Apr 21, 2022
  • Jimmy Fallon next to his NFT

    Does Jimmy Fallon Read Our Paper? We Stole His NFT To Find Out!

    • Apr 21, 2022
  • A man at the store is staring at a bottle of milk trying to read the contents.

    Report: Area Man Buying Skim Milk Just Gonna Glance Over Label

    • Apr 15, 2022
  • Picture of Jake from State Farm sitting on a couch in a commercial

    Report: Jake From State Farm Called Himself That Before Even Working There

    • Apr 15, 2022
Twitter
Facebook

COPYRIGHT 2016 E3W. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  • About
  • Apply To Join The Every Three Weekly
  • Contact
  • Encyclopedia
  • Home
  • Legal Disclaimer
  • Newsletter