According to a new report from Netflix’s content recommendation algorithms, it is a “mathematical certainty” that the service’s latest cooking show will be a smash hit among the nation’s tub- tubs. The streaming giant’s analytics report...

After conducting numerous and extensive studies, marine biologists have concluded that every time you look at the ocean, “there’s just no feasible way to know how many dolphins you’re technically looking at.” Richard Davis from the...

Recent studies have suggested that a link exists between people who used to cut bread crust off their sandwiches and people who won’t swallow cum. Researchers at Yale have recently demonstrated that both picky eating and cum swallowing are...

Last Thursday in a Facebook Live press conference, Facebook CFO David Wehner announced that Facebook users will now be able to seamlessly connect their current Facebook accounts to their current Facebook account. Calling the move “another win for...

Reports indicate that last Thursday, area mother Laura Holland did not allow Stevie, her seven- year-old, any say over his own haircut. “I want it uniform length around the edges, and I want you to keep his bangs at the front,” Holland told the...

Following verse after verse of “Angels We Have Heard On High,” sung by the Sunday-morning congregation at St. John the Divine Episcopal Church, sources report that there is yet another verse coming up after this one. “I was thinking...

Despite meticulously analyzing the packaging and ingredient list on his 7/11-brand microwavable burrito, 32-year-old accountant Sam Krumholz reportedly has no idea if it will be any good. “I’ve seen this go both ways,” reported Krumholz as he...