Area man Ainesh Shintre who claims to be “too good” to use TikTok reportedly spent three hours on Monday afternoon watching a series of YouTube fan compilation videos of eleven-year-old bloopers from the hit NBC sitcom “The Office.”...
Reports are confirming that shortly after listening to a particularly hearfelt song this past Saturday, local woman Bella Madison reported to her friends that she “wanted this song to play at her wedding,” blissfully unaware that she will in...
After a highway accident in which local man Todd Kirk was run over by 29 different cars, Guinness World Records has posthumously awarded Kirk with the record for “Most Cars Run Over Body In Under 1 Minute.” Kirk, an avid motorcyclist, achieved...
In response to a debate question regarding the potential replacement of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Joe Biden recently clarified to his constituents that he was “not the Wendigo” for some reason. “The Supreme Court seat is...
Upon release of the Travis Scott Meal just weeks ago, local resident Tyler Bancroft, who was among the first to purchase one, has given the burger, fries, and Sprite combo “two thumbs up.” When asked about ordering the meal, he said “it took...
Recent reports have shown that audiences around the world are grappling with the realization that the female rabbit in Disney’s 1942 animated feature “Bambi” has the animal equivalent of human breasts. According to several sources, the...
LSA Senior Max Lopez and his housemates were reportedly dismayed this past month to find out that the old house they moved into on Packard Street contained only one devastatingly small toilet. Since making this shocking discovery, Lopez has been...