As the rest of Delta flight 1427 prepared for takeoff by eagerly tuning in to the flight attendant’s demonstration on the aircraft’s safety procedures, area passenger Hugh Daniels made the conscious decision to continue playing solitaire on his...
Even thousands of years after the fact, angels from all over heaven are still reporting feelings of betrayal after God, the Almighty Lord of Hosts, promoted his son Jesus Christ to savior of mankind. “I mean, come on,” said Uriel, the angel...
In a recent press release, which offered little for the practical reasons that accompany the change, the nation’s white people have detailed plans to spell Caitlyn entirely differently. “Caitlyn has a long and storied history, with plenty of...
Citing the woman’s untimely aplomb in the face of chaos last Tuesday, passengers on United Airlines flight 4481 to Denver were reportedly unnerved by their flight attendant handing out snacks during turbulence as if the plane were not about to...
Decisively laying all doubts on the subject to rest, a study conducted by the nation’s sadists has proven that there is definitely more than one way to skin a cat. “Miseducation on feline flaying is a chronic problem in modern American...
As winter enters its second month, reports have emerged that, while all deciduous trees lie dormant, unable to produce their own energy, one ostentatious conifer is planning to flaunt its superiority and photosynthesize right in the face of a...