Researchers have recently discovered that Neutrogena Pink Grapefruit Body Wash has a taste that differs completely from the wonderful way in which it smells. “Judging by its pleasing aroma, we expected the grapefruit soap to have a taste...

Witnesses have reported that Trevor Jackson’s 23andMe results, which arrived this past Thursday, have confirmed that he is a complete and utter dumbass. The report surfaced three weeks after Jackson received a 23andMe kit as a Christmas gift,...

After a near-fatal car crash, area man Jackson Wilt has reportedly been given an entirely new view on his morning so far. Wilt’s weekday commute on M-10 North was violently interrupted after a run-in with an oncoming semi. “That was a real wake...

Despite meticulously packing a large duffle bag and a carry-on for a weekend trip to Sacramento, Mark Lizetti, 35, is reportedly relying on one of his buddies to supply the toothpaste. “Someone will probably bring a tube,” reasoned Lizetti as he...

Upon planting his buttocks on the stained porcelain seat located inside a Mobile gas station, Richard Everest, accountant and father of three, admitted that he did not foresee this event transpiring. “I use the bathroom every day,” Everest...

After nearly 100 weeks of intense legal work, dominating the international news cycle for over a year and racking up $25 million in government costs in what may be the highest-stakes investigation in United States history, Special Counsel Robert...

Reports have surfaced that Rafael and Talia Klein have endeavored to improve their sex life by actually having sex. “Rafi really is a wonderful husband,” said Talia. “But, in the past few years, things have just become really vanilla in the...