Recent reports are coming in that the door to the Heller family’s pantry has been acting increasingly unhinged as of late. Family members reported that while going in to grab their morning cereal, something seemed a little more ajar than usual....
Shelby Foster’s 2007 Toyota Camry recently started to make an extremely irritating noise, a constant chatter about the greatness of the conservative political commentator, Ben Shapiro. The car was reportedly silent for many years, racking up...
In a shocking development, reports are confirming that a large population of the nation’s dust bunnies have unionized against this year’s spring cleaners. Edna Winthrop, the representative for DBU (Dust Bunnies United), explained the union’s...
Heather Shelton was reportedly “disappointed” this week upon realizing that her “Will They or Won’t They” dynamic with coworker Matt Trembley is not as present now that their staff meetings are held virtually on Zoom. The unfortunate...
The CDC has announced that all Americans who have correctly complied with COVID safety protocols will be rewarded with a pizza party at the end of May, the projected date for vaccine proliferation. Reports indicate that the agency intends for this...