Following your emergency call concerning a broken fan belt in the station wagon, your dad announced that you should “hold on just a second” and “not do anything just yet— has a guy for that.” “Don’t call AAA” said your dad in...

Claiming this release begins the “next era of communication,” Apple CEO Tim Cook revealed at his company’s keynote today the tech-giant’s newest gadget: the left-handed iPhone. The iPhone L is set to jumpstart Apple’s breakthrough into the...

Sources close to local kid James Miller have recently been able to confirm that he is getting a little bit too old to be engaging in childish behaviors like believing in himself. “Between the ages of 7 and 11, children begin to develop concrete...

Following the annual international summit meeting of evil-doers in Muskegon, MI, this year’s top criminal masterminds announced a five-year plan to stop announcing their plans. “It doesn’t matter if the hero is safely in your clutches and...