Sources recently reported that area woman Renee O’Connell is “totally open” to any constructive criticism on the rough draft of her senior thesis granted she’d be allowed to cry about it later that day. O’Connell told reporters that while...
After a grueling, three hour day of learning colors and the alphabet at Appletree Daycare, local toddler Hazel Canterbury was devastated to come home and learn that there is no such thing as the letter “elemeno.” “I’m out there sitting...
Multiple sources have confirmed complete and utter confusion in regards to the continued service of ‘Pete’s Records’ to its local Ann Arbor community. ‘Pete’s Records’ has enjoyed a long and illustrious history of selling records,...
A spokesperson for the Trump Administration released a statement on Tuesday saying that Mr. Peanut, the mascot of the brand Planters Peanuts, will be appointed as Secretary of Agriculture. “We believe that Mr. Peanut’s extensive agricultural...
The men also had a lead they wanted to check out. Fox’s newest detective drama, “Man Of The Law”, premiered last Thursday with mixed reviews from an audience surprised to discover the show was 48 straight minutes of men standing in...
‘Best two out of three.’ Last Thursday, Pai Mae was soundly defeated in one on one combat by his pupil, Jacob Jones. The match was reportedly held following a rigorous training period in which Jones grew from a weakling who could barely hold a...
The beta aunts fought among themselves for baby holding order. As the Perkins family enjoyed an Easter brunch on Sunday, a crowd of aunts gathered around their niece’s two-week-old baby like a pack of bloodthirsty wolves. The infant’s mother,...