Reports indicate that every driver on the road is in a rush to get their carryout pizza home before it gets cold. “Come on, move it!” stated every driver on I-94 South while exchanging glances with their recently purchased pepperoni pie. Drivers...

Citing his state of pure joy, reports are coming in that a local dog sticking his head out of a car window yesterday cannot believe his fucking eyes. The dog, called Spot by his family, is known to stick his head out of the window during every minor...

Following his pathetic display of weakness in the grocery chain, news outlets are reporting that area man, Francis Fuller, 29, has absolutely nothing to lose in his sad, sad life. Fuller, wearing a stained high school football sweatshirt, was seen...

Upon finding early Tuesday that the front windshield of her car had become completely covered in ice overnight, local woman Jen Fenwick responded to the situation by doing, “literally nothing” and proceeding to get in the car and start driving....

Acknowledging that while they “do appreciate the added layer of security when it comes to protecting personal information,” PNC Bank users have become increasingly frustrated with the company’s use of security questions that are a little too...

New reports released by the EPA have found that environmental conservation efforts such as recycling, divesting from fossil fuels, and other general carbon footprint reduction initiatives are no match against 15-year-old Jeremy Smith’s 20 minute...

Burns called the film a “visual spectacle” despite being on his phone in the theater. Local man Todd Burns reportedly shifted his opinion on a movie after finding out it was nominated for several Oscars. “What a beautiful film. The...