It Was The Straw That Broke The Camel’s Back
A Man Who Needs A New Camel

He has given up the ghost, breathed his last, kicked the bucket, hopped the twig, bit the dust, and left us to be with the great camel in the sky. How sad it is, that a being of such talent and such tenacity was taken from us so early, before he had...

Where The Fuck Are All My Spoons
My Roommate

It’s completely normal that two roommates would share some things, but with that agreement comes an expectation of a little courtesy and decorum. When I was missing a spoon or two at first, it didn’t really matter to me. Maybe you had one, and...

Surely I Am Fortune’s Fool
A Freshman On Her Twelfth Tequila Shot

I was all cunning and courage whence I began this task of downing a dozen spirits, but now my resolve and my vision falter. My adversaries swore I could not empty this twelfth glass, yet now I place her beside her hollow sisters. But what boon was...

Guys, Don’t Pack It Up Just Yet
A Professor With Attachment Issues

Look guys, I get it. We all have places we need to be and I’m sure everyone has such busy and interesting lives outside of this class but can you please just wait five minutes for me to finish this lecture up. Sorry I don’t mean to be so pushy,...

It’s A Spooky Time For Men In America
By Donald J. Trump

It’s a very spooky time for men in America, where ghosts hiding around every corner are getting into the Halloween spirit. This is a very, very—this is a very spooky time. What’s happening here has much more to do than just a couple...

I Hope You’re Happy
By Your Therapist

Hi there, it’s good to see you again—it’s been a while since we last talked. How are you doing? Well? Great. That’s what I like to hear. It always warms my heart when my clients are content with their lives and still want to spend an hour of...