The Oxford Comma You will always use the Oxford Comma. There is never a reason not to use the Oxford Comma. It will always be used. If you do not use it, I will know. This is important. I will live on through the Oxford Comma. I would be happy to go...
When I first joined the paper three years ago, I thought I had struck gold in terms of finding my niche here on campus. Little did I know I had actually struck it rich in the form of thy sweet, sweet $14 trillion endowment. It started out as a...
Like many, I discovered the University of Michigan’s esteemed satire publication entirely by accident. Desperate for escape from all the sex clubs I mistakenly signed up for at my freshman-year Festifall, by the second week of September 2016 I was...
As I end my college career, I want it to be known that not once during my time on this paper did anyone come up to me and say they liked my sweatshirt. Never did anyone bother to approach me and say, “Hey, I love The Every Three Weekly! You...
When I first joined this paper freshman year, I thought this was a reputable campus newspaper. Four years later, I’m finally told that all these stories are “not actually true,” and “are just using satire to poke fun at larger issues.” I...
I like to bike. I like to drink coffee. I like comedy. Here’s how to enjoy those things in Ann Arbor. Coffee: I like coffee. Roos Roast is the best. Go to either the roasting plant on Rosewood or the E. Liberty location and order a Rich...
Since I joined this paper, I have pitched a headline time after time again, but none of my fellow writers gave it the attention it deserves. So here I am, taking it upon myself, using my senior farewell allotted space to make sure my voice is...