God, I Hope Ringo’s Next
Paul McCartney

It’s been decades since the band broke up, and I’ve never stopped singing. What a ride it’s been. But I know the clock is ticking. We’re getting older. John died at 40, George at 58. Ringo and I both know we’re gambling with Father Time at...

The Wall Was Inside You All Along
President Donald J. Trump

To all my tremendous supporters, the media has been speculating and lying about me, as usual. People are saying—people who said I would lose, by the way—people are saying that the great wall along our Southern border might be harder to build...

This Shithole Is The Perfect One For You!
A Local Landlord

By A Local Landlord Finding a place to live in this city can be tough, I know. What separates the ransacked, run-down apartments on the East side of town from the pigsties on the West? It’s a nightmare! Well, fortunately for you, I’m here, and...

It Was All Part Of My Plan!
Chen Jining, Chinese Minister Of Environmental Protection

Ah, Mr. Drumpf. Kudos to you. For years I’ve worked to bring America to it’s knees, but you’ve seen through my ruse. Decades of plotting and scheming, leaving a careful trail of breadcrumbs – rising sea levels, melting ice caps, an...

Yep, I’m Just Here With Dad
Every Three Weekly

By A Mom On The Phone With Nothing To Talk About Hi honey, it’s so great to hear from you. I’m just here with Dad watching the news. He says hi! Yeah…We’re about to switch from NBC to ABC. You know how Dad feels about Lester...