About three weeks ago, our editors created a Buzzfeed quiz that asked, “Which editor of ‘The Every Three Weekly’ are you?” I know that if I were an editor, I would be none other than Ismael Halaweh, and this is a fact. I said to...

“Although yours was not one of the speeches chosen as a finalist, they enjoyed reading your draft. They thought the speech was well written and framed, but felt the tone was a little negative.” I spent 3 years ripping on the Ross School...

It was organic, really. There I was, watching “Shrek 2” again, when suddenly it dawned on me: “Shit, this is my favorite movie.” I’m not entirely sure what to glean from this. Am I awash with childlike wonder? Do I really dig the...

I know what you all are thinking— who’s this “Sofie” girl who just applied for “The Every Three Weekly” for the first time her senior year? How’d she get onto this paper?! To those people I say, I am supremely funny and my...

Thank you for your purchase, graduate! Your new class ring is a reminder of the past four years you’ve spent here – the friendships forged, the causes fought for, the knowledge learned — and with this token you’ll never forget it. Most...

Now, listen here pardner. I know you think you can come in this here public middle school, guns a-blazing, but I’m the good guy with a gun ’round these parts and I reckon you’ve got another thing coming. In my time as a gym teacher at...

Let me be as clear as day: I am not a big cat person. In the world of cat people, I would not put myself anywhere near the ranks of big, large, nor huge. It’s not even close. In fact, by looking at the objective metrics for cat personness, it...