Mom, remember how you said to call you in case of emergency? Well I really don’t think it’s safe here. They’re drinking beer, and wine, and other things, and I really need you to come pick me up. I honestly don’t even think the parents are...
Hey there! How’s it going? I may have heard through the grapevine that you are somewhat of a professional comedian. If this indeed is your true occupation, make me laugh, funny man! You see, I know what a comedian is. I understand the provisions...
What floor? No problem. Well, boy it sure is freezing out there today. You’ll definitely want to bundle up for this one. It’s not just the low temperature, but the wind that gets ya. I heard from the weather guy that it’s supposed to be down...
In this job, you always need to follow your gut. You need to sniff out every clue. Leave no stone unturned. Consider every possible outcome. If you make one mistake, you might put the wrong man behind bars. Sometimes this attention to detail will...
You might think that I’m just some stone, no different from any other piece of mason. But I’m different. Oh, I’m different. Because if you step on me I’ll curse you. That’s right, a curse! So don’t tread on me punk! If you tread on me...
Hey stranger, I’m glad I caught your eye. You’re probably wondering what I’m doing here, on the corner of Washington and Main, flipping a nickel alone. That’s what you’re wondering right? I could tell by the flicker in your eyes. See, the...
Look, I get it. It’s the new year, it’s 2019. The last one sucked for a lot of folks, and they’re looking to make some changes. Not ol’ Gary though, no sir. I’ve been doing the Gary thing just about my whole life by this point, and...