My Phone Cracks So Easily!
Your Friend With A Drinking Problem

You won’t believe it when I tell you, but my phone screen shattered again last night. I seriously think I need to talk to Apple about this. My screen cracks once a week, I guarantee it. I don’t think this happens to other people’s phones. I...

Sometimes I Just Like To Come Here And Think
The Guy In The Tall Blue Fishbowl Chair

I see you’ve found my special place. Welcome. Sometimes I just like to come over here, to these tall blue spinning chairs, and clear my mind. If you sit in the chair and turn at just the right angle facing the wall, the whole world truly seems to...

From Dust We Came, And To Dust We Shall Return
Frosty the Snowman

Alas, as the snow at our feet begins to melt into the hard ground, so too drains the icy blood from my veins, and I begin to wither like a tree of old Father Christmas torn mercilessly from its roots. The very precipitation cycle that once brought...

Come On Now, We’re All Friends Here
A Tag-Along Group Member

Hey guys, come on now, let’s not get too riled up. We’re all friends here. Think of that time we went to the lake house for a week. I mean I just drove up for that one Saturday because apparently there weren’t enough beds. Remember how...

I’ll Cross That Bridge When I Come To It
A Man With Reasonable Expectations For Road Trip

I know where I’m going. I also know where I’ve been. And God damn it, I know that in 8.6 miles I am taking a left turn that will put me right in front of the Faulken Bridge. And will I cross that bridge? You bet your ass I will. But make no...

You Can’t Eat Experimental Prose
Your Dad

The most important thing to me is that you’re happy and content. But I’d also prefer if you had a roof over your head and something to feed your wife and kids. You’ve always been creative and I never want you to lose that, but you should...