Well That Was A Dead End
A TV Cop At The Turning Point Of The Plot

Damn, that was a dead end. I really thought we had a lead on that one, but now it’s back to the drawing board. We have to get back to the facts. What do we know for certain right now? The answer is in here somewhere, we just have to get in there...

I’m Not Looking For Anything Serious
A Guy 45 Seconds Into Conversation

  Hey. So I know I said it was nice to meet you like 45 seconds ago, but I just want to make it extremely clear that I’m not looking for anything serious. This is really nothing. Of course if the right girl came along I wouldn’t totally...

Look How The Tables Have Turned Motherfuckers
Wilton Speight

Well, well, well, look what we have here. I bet after John O’Korn’s performance the past few weeks you’re wishing my whole spine hadn’t cracked in half. Now you’re realizing Coach Harbaugh didn’t just put me in at first string because I...

Dude, I Really Like Your Shoes
That Guy Down The Hall You Can't Get A Read On

Dude, I really like your shoes. Honestly, most of the shoes you rock are pretty bomb. You must have a shoe guy or something, haha. Nah, I’m just kidding. I know you don’t have a shoe guy. But if you do actually have a shoe guy, could you shoot...

These Retractable Pens Sure Are Neat-O
Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos

A lot of people like to bring up that in all my years of education activism in Michigan and around the country that I never actually set foot in a public school. These claims are just untrue. In fact, I just went to one of our nation’s intercity...