Dude, I Really Like Your Shoes
By
That Guy Down The Hall You Can't Get A Read On

Dude, I really like your shoes. Honestly, most of the shoes you rock are pretty bomb. You must have a shoe guy or something, haha. Nah, I’m just kidding. I know you don’t have a shoe guy. But if you do actually have a shoe guy, could you shoot...

These Retractable Pens Sure Are Neat-O
By
Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos

A lot of people like to bring up that in all my years of education activism in Michigan and around the country that I never actually set foot in a public school. These claims are just untrue. In fact, I just went to one of our nation’s intercity...

The Real Spirit Of Halloween Was Inside Us All Along
By
By A Jack O’Lantern

Inside each of us there exists a spark, a flame burning bright, igniting our spooking, goopy cores. This, I believe, is the spirit of Halloween. This flickering spirit exists inside each and every one of us. While we keep firm smiles pasted on our...

Gimme The Blue
By
A Middle Schooler Grabbing Ice Pops Out Of A Cooler

Booyah! Snack time baby! What do we have here? Oh yeah look at that cooler, Connor’s mom is not messing around. Blue! Blue! Gimme the blue one please. I love blue, it’s my favorite. I know it’s everyone’s favorite, but it’s my favorite the...

Don’t Loft Your Bed In A Hazardous Configuration
By
Your RA

Listen up everybody, I know moving into college is complicated, and you’re all just aching to be free spirits, but let’s get a few things straight. Upon moving into your dorm rooms, you were all provided with easily customizable furniture...