Children need to learn about the glory of classic rock, and this is the movie that can teach them. They need to be taught how to get the Led out. They need to know that the Man kidnapped Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank. Remember when Jack Black...
My college career has been a waste. I have no future, no career prospects. My parents paid out-of-state tuition so I could chuckle to myself as I wrote jokes about Harbaugh and Greek Life. Looking back, I know I should’ve just been a computer...
What do we do with humor? Is it for pure entertainment? The Every Three Weekly has shown me how to understand the world through humor, and I think that’s helped greatly. Life’s contradictions get amplified by our jokes, in the hopes that our...
I have had a great few years working with The Every Three Weekly staff, and now it is time for me to move on and start my full-time job in artificial intelligence research at IBM Watson. And I have a promise to make to all the wonderful people on...
I can’t believe I’m graduating and leaving all my little writers behind. But not quite! I’ll be hanging around Ann Arbor doing the whole grad school thing, so you can totally expect I’ll show up to social events and casual hangouts, and it...
Hello, it’s me: the man who peed on the paper that is now in your hands. Yes, this exact paper. No, this is not a metaphor. My literal pee. Your literal hands. Touching. How did I pee on this particular paper? Very good question, especially since...
Saying goodbye to great friends who do great work is tough fucking shit. But for one boastful, swaggering motherfucker, the task just got infinitesimally easier to pull the fuck off: When asked to write this worthless piece of shit, Seth Wolin,...