Fisherman Dane Lewis set a personal record this past Tuesday when he reeled in a 14-foot, 1,800-pound Beluga whale at Shedd Aquarium in Chicago, Illinois. While always a fan of freshwater fishing in the wild, Lewis claimed he “wanted...

Reports from the University of Michigan Parkour Club meeting last week confirmed the gathering as nothing more than 30 minutes of jerking it to dope buildings. “We started off with minutes from the week before,” said team captain and...

Coming off another underachieving season in 2018, the University of Michigan football program has told its loyal fans that they might as well just break their own hearts this year. “We all know what’s inevitably going to happen, so the...

Major League Baseball commissioner Robert Manfred issued a statement early last week assuring fans of the sport that there will be “absolutely no pressure” to watch a single inning of the game at any point in the 2019 season. “I can say with...

A recent study has revealed that students at the University of Michigan’s Intramural Building spend 70 percent of their time walking between the two main rooms. “While our results demonstrate that students do spend a considerable amount of time...