Expressing excitement for the University of Michigan’s new deal with Nike, representatives of both parties elaborated on how the partnership will usher in a new era of excellence and exploitative pricing. “When you think of Jordan and Michigan,...

Michigan football player and LSA sophomore Kyle Sherman, who previously used his size and popularity to taunt his middle school classmates for being gay, has reportedly been riding around Ann Arbor on a motorized scooter, straddling teammate Jack...

In a selfless display of poor bowel control, 4-year-old local hero Richard Phillips defecated in the Ann Arbor-Saline community pool last Thursday during free-swim hours, thus forcing a local swim club to cancel their regularly scheduled evening...

Upon the conclusion of the NBA regular season, NBA Commissioner Adam Silver announced that players will now be allowed to start playing defense in postseason play.

According to sources close to the situation, former NFL quarterback Peyton Manning has been spent his retirement from the NFL thus far by roaming the halls of his mansion, waiting for his body to allow him to masturbate once again.

Area man Brad Janson recently expressed that he was “really feeling it this year” as he made his picks for March Madness, after completing a bracket in which he picked the higher seeded team to win every game. “I’ve been following the whole...

Admitting that they had been forgotten by their former classmate and close friend, LeBron James’ high school basketball teammates reported they were nevertheless grateful for the $25 ticket combo now offered at Cavaliers games. Recognizing that...