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Before We Conclude This Mass, I’d Like To Give A Couple Of ‘Shout-Outs’

Brothers and sisters, I’d like to give a few words of thanks to...

  • Mar 31, 2013

I’m Not So Sure About This ‘Michigan’ Place

So let me get this straight, Pat: last night, I flew 500 miles out of...

  • Mar 31, 2013

I Told You I Wasn’t Guilty Of Extortion Related To The Eastside Sewer-Repair Contract

Let me just start by saying that I know I’m not perfect. I’m not...

  • Mar 31, 2013

I May Be A Sex Addict, But I Still Get More Pussy Than You

Hello everybody. My name is Mark, and I’m a sex addict. For the...

  • Mar 31, 2013

For The Love Of God, Just Kill Me

Hey, you there, with the muffin and the MacBook. Yes, you. I need you...

  • Mar 31, 2013

Ayatotally Khameineed The U.S. And Israel To Stop Threatening Our Nuclear Program

We here at the E3W typically don’t accept unsolicited...

  • Mar 31, 2013

Cat Rescues Firefighter From Ground

CATHERINE ST. – In an act of selfless heroism, Mr. Chin, the...

  • Mar 31, 2013

Genetically-Modified Apple Totally Harmless, Says Satan

Sources at a local Meijer have confirmed that Satan recently ascended...

  • Mar 31, 2013

University Designates Sixth Floor Of Hatcher Library ‘Coitus Corridor’

In response to complaints from students engaging in lewd sexual acts...

  • Mar 31, 2013

Student Applying For Multiple Externships Still Has No Clue What Externship Is

Ross sophomore Andy Carter recently admitted to friends, family, and...

  • Mar 31, 2013

Local Idiom Found Dead In The Water

Investigators from the Ann Arbor Police Department are working around...

  • Mar 31, 2013

Life All Downhill For Fifth-Grade Reading Champ

NOT WHERE SHE EXPECTED TO BE, THAT’S FOR SURE ‒ From her room in...

  • Mar 31, 2013
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