Investigators from the Ann Arbor Police Department are working around the clock and burning the midnight oil to close the case on why a local idiom turned up dead in the water Monday morning. An early-bird, local fisherman Bob Dawson, burst the bubble on the crime after he found himself far up the creek without a paddle. The man, who stumbled upon the idiom while stuck between a rock and a hard place, decided to take a shot in the dark and clear the air as to what it was.
“Before I ran into it, I figured that no one would ever be caught dead in that rocky patch,” said Dawson. “And, heck, I didn’t want to dig my heels in and dine on ashes at first glance! But once I decided to take the reins and have a crack at what was down there, it dawned on me, as the dust settled, that there really was an flesh-and-blood idiom caught dead in there.”
“Thank heavens I didn’t just have a screw loose!” Dawson added.
While police do not want to count their chickens before they hatch, early theories suggest that the idiom was beaten around the bush and then tossed aside. While the crime scene was partially contaminated by an eager beaver pulling the idiom’s leg as the police arrived on the scene, blood and DNA evidence soon emerged from out of the blue because blood is thicker than water.
When investigators dug way down deep, they determined that this idiom bears a striking resemblance to the shocking 2009 discovery of another local idiom found down in the dumps. Reportedly, this put quite the feather in the police’s caps.
In related news, the author of this article was recently put out to pasture, where he was found beating a dead horse.
