Report: Michael Jackson Still Dead

Neverland Ranch– At approximately 6:09 PM eastern time yesterday evening, late pop singer-songwriter Michael Jackson was announced “still dead” since his original passing on June 25th, 2009. The news shocked millions, as his name has continued to dominate headlines from The National Inquirer to The New York Times. This marked four years, three months, two weeks, one days, nine hours, forty minutes, and twelve seconds since his death.

“Honestly, I was amazed. The sheer number of stories I see on about him every day was enough to make me think he was still alive and relevant in pop culture,” Sarah Johannson said.

“I’ll never forget where I was when I found out that Jackson continued to no be longer with us,” Martin Robinson added. “I was listening to ‘Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough’ on Pandora when I suddenly realized ‘Whoah, this guy is still dead,’” Robinson said. “I’m trying to come to terms with it all over again, but I don’t think I’m there again yet.”
Others echoed Johannson and Robinson’s sentiments, adding that the focus on his last few months alive helped them forget about Jackson’s past.

“I’d been so immersed in his doctor’s trial, I totally neglected the multiple instances of Michael’s twisted sexual acts and the fact that he has been dead for a really long time now. I guess it’s just because it was the most important trial of our generation.”

When asked why he did not follow other contemporary trials, such as George Zimmerman’s acquittal after killing unarmed 17 year-old Trayvon Martin, Brennaman answered, “I think it’s just a testament to the power of Michael’s music and love.”

Originally published: Oct 2013

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