• No menu assigned!
"Better than sex,
   twice as often."
The Every Three Weekly
  • Campus
  • National
  • World
  • Sports
  • Opinion
  • Infographics
  • The Click House
  • Encyclopedia
  • Newsletter

Low-Achieving Family To Incorporate Friends’ Failures In Annual Christmas Letter

The year 2013 for the Saunder family of Springfield, Illinois, was...

  • Dec 13, 2013

Local 18-Year-Old Weighing Benefits Of $200,000 In Student Loan Debt vs. Possibly Getting Shot In Afghanistan

High school senior Jacob Peterson recently received early admission...

  • Dec 13, 2013

That Guy Who Brings Acoustic Guitar To Every Party Finally Gets Laid

Sources confirmed this Sunday morning that LSA sophomore Wyatt...

  • Dec 13, 2013

Area Manager Going With ‘Just Checking In’ As Subject Line Of Latest Email

Saying that the generic three-word phrase just made sense for what he...

  • Dec 13, 2013

Showtime Execs Plan To Use More Sex In Marketing For Masters Of Sex

Citing lackluster ratings for their new Sunday night drama Masters of...

  • Dec 13, 2013

Lazy Libertarian Probably Just Giving Relatives Bitcoins For Christmas

Joe Perry, notable to friends and family for his distrust of...

  • Dec 13, 2013

Sophomore’s Alone Time Ruined By Girlfriend’s Search Party

BEHIND A TREE IN THE ARB— University Police announced yesterday...

  • Dec 13, 2013

Crime Notes, The Michigan Daily “An Ugli Crime”. S3/E12

Many thought they had seen Crime Notes’ best work after last...

  • Dec 13, 2013

UHS To Offer Telephone Promo In Which Lucky Ninth Caller Actually Gets Medical Attention They Require

To celebrate its 100th anniversary, University Health Services is...

  • Dec 13, 2013

Government Announces It Has Been Fucking With Us The Whole Time

According to various sources within the world’s most powerful...

  • Dec 13, 2013

COPYRIGHT 2016 E3W. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  • About
  • Apply To Join The Every Three Weekly
  • Contact
  • Encyclopedia
  • Home
  • Legal Disclaimer
  • Newsletter