I’m Fine!

Listen to me, I’m absolutely fine. I’m not stumbling and bumbling and tumbling, get your hands off me, just let me sit. I just wanna sit. Have you guys seen my friend Tammie? She’s so pretty, you’d looooove her. Has anybody seen Tammie?

I don’t even drink, I’m just here to see the Michigan experience. I’m still going to the game, I’ll walk there soon. Just let me sit here and think and stuff. Shh. Just let me sleep for one second. Just going to close my eyes. Oh the pavement is so cold against my face.

TAMMIE? Have you guys seen my friend Tammie? She’s so, so pretty. So pretty. Guys always like her more than me, whatever she has small tits.

*Bleh* What? No, that’s not my throwup. This is not my throwup. Who threw up on me? They should clean it, ew that’s disgusting. And it’s probably going to ruin my sweatshirt and I really liked this sweatshirt, it says Michigan on it. I love Michigan! MICCCHHHIIIGGAANNNNN!

Wooooo! Go Blue! At least I didn’t throw up on my Hunter Boots.

TAMMMIIEEEEE. Where is that hot ass bitch? You know what? I need a beer. If you see Tammie tell her to come over here and fill up my Hunter Boot with beer. Das boot!!! Tammie, das boot!!

Originally published: Dec 2013

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