Diverse IM Broomball Team Realizes They’re ‘Exactly What MLK Had in Mind’

ALONG THE MORAL ARC THAT BENDS TOWARDS JUSTICE—After celebrating a 12-2 victory in IM Broomball, team members of The Extra Funky Polka- Dotted Penguin People realized to their delight that they were, in fact, perfect evidence of a post-racial society.

“Wow,” team captain Jacob Preston said at the moment of their epiphany. “Just take a look at us, guys. Seven white kids, a Jew, a Chinese girl, and an African-American, all playing together in perfect harmony. I don’t want to sound cliché, but don’t you think this is a perfect example of what Martin Luther King Jr. was fighting for?”

Members of the team then reportedly nodded their heads silently in agreement, with goalie Brandon Turner struggling to hide his increasingly misty eyes, as he equated a bunch of kids from Markley sliding around on an ice rink in their tennis shoes together to the civil rights movement.

“You know, come to think about it, I didn’t think about race once today when I was shoving around a small round ball with my kitchen broom. I guess this really shows how far we’ve come as a society, huh?” right defender Dennis Huff mused.

“And to think, just 50, 60 years ago broomball teams were still segregated,” left forward Tina Krukewitt agreed.

Team members then began to smile and high-five each other, but the conversation reportedly took a somber turn when center Jay Whitaker admitted that he “just regret[s] that Martin Luther King Jr. couldn’t be around to see us today.”

When left defender Terrence Quaid pointed out that African-Americans and other racial minorities are still systematically discriminated against today in the workplace, the education system, the justice system, and pretty much every other damn place you could think of, his enlightened white teammates gently encouraged him to “stop being such a downer” and “just appreciate how much progress there’s been.”

Originally published Feb 2014.

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