LIKE IT EVEN MATTERS—Local teen Alexa Troutman was reportedly astounded to discover last Thursday that she is not, in fact, the only person in the entire world who feels this way.
Troutman says the revelation struck her on Monday, while sitting alone at a table in the lunchroom, listening to Mayday Parade and covering her white Converse sneakers in black broken heart doodles. She overheard classmate Rachel Wentz exasperatedly tell a friend how “absolutely no one understood her,” and how she felt like she was “too deeply emotional and mature for anyone to possibly comprehend” what she was going through.
“I was really surprised,” said Troutman, who is literally one of 17.2 million teenage girls who feels the same way, upon hearing her peer’s revelations. “I’d always thought I was the only one who felt like I was wandering through the world utterly alone, unable to find one other person on this planet of over six billion people who understood how I felt.” The teenager then paused a moment to reapply her already thick eyeliner before admitting that hearing someone else could possibly feel what she felt angered her. “Like, who does she think she is? Does she honestly think her life is worse than mine? She must be seriously delusional to believe she actually feels the way she says she does” Troutman said indignantly.
“She got a Range Rover on the first night of Hannukah, and anyone that rich couldn’t possibly be depressed because everyone knows that money can buy happiness,” she continued.
“But I wouldn’t expect you to understand, no one ever does” the sullen teenager told this reporter before leaving the cafeteria to blog about the ordeal.
Originally published: Jan 2014