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Hey, Remember Me?

Hey, guys. It’s been a while, to say the least. And I must admit,...

  • Mar 31, 2014

Do You Hear That Rattling?

Hmm, that’s odd. Hey, does anyone else hear that rattling sound?...

  • Mar 31, 2014

Gimme Dat Youth Vote!

What’s cracking, you crazy kidz? I know what you’re thinking,...

  • Mar 31, 2014

In Response To Declining Viewership, CNN To Reboot Highly-Rated War On Terror

Following the massively popular trend of remaking classic TV...

  • Mar 31, 2014

Alfalfa County, Oklahoma Residents Protesting New Stoplight Law, But You Won’t Hear About That On The News, Will You?

According to sources in Alfalfa County, Oklahoma, local...

  • Mar 31, 2014

George Lopez Retires ‘Latino’ Gimmick, Returns With New Three-Minute Special

Famous stand-up comedian George Lopez announced last Tuesday that...

  • Mar 31, 2014

Atheist Uses Logic, Reason To Congratulate Self, Alienate Others

University of Cambridge student and atheist Justin Tannenbaum has...

  • Mar 31, 2014

Pope Francis Attempts To Inspire Inner-City Youth With Power Of Math

In continuation of his unorthodox charitable acts, Pope Francis has...

  • Mar 31, 2014

Getting Attacked By Hyenas While Sleeping Least Of Somali Man’s Problems

Despite the constant threat of being viciously mauled by wild hyenas...

  • Mar 31, 2014

Sophomore Stops Mid-Workout To Contemplate Own Mortality

Pretending that his shoulders were simply sore from multiple...

  • Mar 31, 2014

Facebook Friends Thrilled To Be Invited To Pizza House Fundraiser

Sources report that Facebook friends of LSA sophomore Jamie Redmond...

  • Mar 31, 2014

Wendy’s Must Be Using New Kind Of Plastic In Their Straws, Reports Man Who Notices That Sort Of Thing

According to Tampa, Florida resident Ron Davis, who is the type of...

  • Mar 31, 2014
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