Alfalfa County, Oklahoma Residents Protesting New Stoplight Law, But You Won’t Hear About That On The News, Will You?

According to sources in Alfalfa County, Oklahoma, local residents have begun to protest the new local stoplight law, but with the liberal media yapping on about Venezuela and Ukraine it’s not like you’re ever going to hear about it anyhow.

While good citizens like Ralph DelSignore and Margaret Tillman are simply fed up with the $15 increase in fines for running a red light, the news media will only feed us the same ol’ crap churned up by the Obama Machine, sources report. Analysts concluded that, should this trend continue, the goddamned DMV is just gonna keep walking all over the decent people of the US of A.

The increase has been called an unforgivable injustice, a unnecessary government overreach, and certainly worth a few minutes in between all those Venezuelans and Crimeans hollering about God knows what. However, sources report that it would be unwise to get our hopes up because when last year’s hunting regulations went into effect, nary a second of news time was devoted to backlash from hunters, instead focusing completely on some civil war in the Middle-East.

Despite the fact that Jim Vernon went down to the Staples on 2nd street and bought everyone Sharpies and poster board, the plight of Vernon and others like him will continue to go unnoticed in favor of world leaders threatening major global conflict.

One such example is Denise Williams, who was all set to join the women’s bridge club in picketing at the local courthouse. Unfortunately, her efforts were in vain as the collapse of the late dictator Hugo Chavez’s regime continues to dominate the news cycle. Vladimir Putin’s flagrant violation of Ukrainian and international law also took precedence over the efforts of these courageous, plucky ladies.

Alfalfa County residents remain perplexed as to what exactly is so important about those guys anyway. It was recently confirmed that those jokers ain’t gonna help folks in Oklahoma, not one bit.


Originally Published Mar 2014

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