Spotify Knows How Jamie Is Really Taking Her Breakup

YOUR FACEBOOK NEWSFEED—Friends of Jamie Sweetley believed that she was taking her separation from longtime boyfriend Henry Barton pretty well, until Tuesday when Facebook published Jamie’s recent Spotify sessions. “I was shocked,” says Sweetley’s best friend, Sandra Hendry.

“I thought she was doing so well. She was practicing yoga three times a week, got this really fierce pixy cut and even went vegan for a bit,” she admits. “But then when I saw the Spotify stuff, I couldn’t ignore it.”

“I wasn’t too worried when I saw ‘Wrecking Ball’ on the playlist, I mean that’s a really great jam. And Miley inspired Jamie’s new hair,” says Hendry. “But then she listened to Taylor Swift’s third album, you know that one that’s all about John Mayer?”

For her part, Sweetley claims that the Taylor Swift session was noth ing out of the ordinary. “I don’t know why everyone is freaking out about me listening to ‘Back to December’ a couple dozen times. Henry and I didn’t even break up in December; we broke up on January 10th at 8:38 PM. The song is irrelevant.”

Three days after details of Sweetley’s Taylor Swift binge emerged, a new post notified the online community that Jamie had been listening to an original playlist entitled “Back When I Was Happy.” The playlist included emotionally charged songs like the early 2000’s hit “I Don’t Want You Back” by Eamon and “Someone Like You” by Adele. The playlist was active for several days.

Her friends are becoming increasingly concerned about Sweetley’s inability to express her true feelings. Hendry is particularly worried that this repression will lead to trouble. “You just can’t put your heart on private session,” she says.

Those close to Sweetley have pledged to help their friend through this difficult time. Says Hendry of the days to come, “We hope to get her ‘Single Ladies’ play count up to fifty by the end of the week.”

Originally published March 2014

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