Sun Just Not Ready To Come Out Yet

Despite finally reaching inner-peace regarding his sexual orientation, the Sun has so far refused to come out this spring. Those close to him maintain that while society is becoming more tolerant of ‘outed’ individuals, he is still not ready to take such a big leap and come out to everyone.

“The Sun wants to come out so badly,” a celestial body, who asked to remain anonymous, told reporters. “But let’s face it, this campus can be quite cold. I think he’ll come out when he’s ready and comfortable. But he needs to ease into it. He won’t just come out to everybody right away. Instead, I’m guessing he’ll slowly begin making more appearances until he finally feels like he can show his true self.”

Local residents, however, are urging that the Sun come out as quickly as possible. “Come on,” housewife Renee Taylor said. “We already know you’re going to. You have to sometime. So you might as well be quick about it.”

Campus organizations are preparing for the Sun’s imminent outing. The Coalition for Queer People of Color stated, “It is our policy to let the Sun come out on his own terms. But he should know that when he finally does come out, our group will immediately welcome him with open arms. We’ve never had a yellow dwarf member, so we’re very excited.”

Originally Published March 2014

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