AN INCREASINGLY DIM FUTURE—With graduation fast approaching, LSA senior Jeremy Adams looks forward to his unpaid internship with his uncle’s law firm in Chicago. Adams claims that it will be “a valuable experience that should set [him] up well” although, according to sources, the job will do nothing to help Adams with his impending future financial crises wherein he will struggle day-in and day- out with a crippling amount of unpaid student debt.
Adams, a political science major from Auburn Hills, is taking the summer months to prepare himself for life after college by throwing himself into thankless work at his own expense. This endeavor follows an exciting announcement regarding Adams’ recent acceptance to DePaul University’s law school. The enrollment demands well over $40,000 in tuition every year, but garnered 45 ‘likes’ on Adams’ corresponding Facebook status–an unprecedented number of ‘likes’ for the graduating senior.
The unpaid internship, in the fourteenth- most-expensive city in America, will leave Adams with a net loss of over $6,000 and a net gain of 142 cups of coffee fetched. According to his tweets, the job “will be totally worth it”. Experts agree that the benefits gained, including the probable one-line work summary for his resume and impersonal letters of recommendation discussing his “hard work” and filing skills in minimal detail, far outweigh the meaningless drivel that Adams will be expected to produce everyday for the next three months.
In five-years time, the future struggling- lawyer will reminisce about his time in the office, remembering the days when his debt hadn’t yet hit the six-figure mark and a time whenhestillhadhopesanddreams,however naïve they may have been.
Originally Published April 2014