Let’s Be Honest, This is What Our Favorite Emojis Really Mean
Whether it’s just to relay a quick ‘lol,’ or perhaps to express some more significant, possibly urgent message, Emojis are basically a new and vital medium of human communication. But––let’s be honest here––no one really uses them just to say “Here is an eggplant” or “Check out this cartoon turd with a face on it.” The language of Emojis is much richer than that.
Here’s our ‘translations’ of some of the most oft-used Emojis. Enjoy!
What they call it: “Winking Face”
What it really means:
Hey Stephen! Great job with the math minutes this week. Quadratics can be tough! Anyway, glad I got your number. Not always on school email after hours.
What they call it: “Face Throwing A Kiss”
What it really means:
I usually leave around 5:30pm to avoid the rush on Adams Ave. I can’t pick you up at the school parking lot because someone might see us and then we’re both fucked. How about I pick you up at the corner of Maple & Kingston?
What they call it: “Face With Open Mouth and Cold Sweat”
What it really means: Listen, I don’t know if I can do this again. I know: you’re hot, I’m hot, why not… but this is a federal crime you’re talking about. I could get four to eight years for just unzipping your fly, let alone riding your sex for hours like I did last night…
What they call it: “Running Left”
What it really means:
Meet me in 15 min. 4th floor D-Wing stairwell. No cameras. You won’t regret it.
What they call it: “Women’s Shoe”
What it really means:
Hey hot stuff, you know what time it is? That’s right, it Mrs. Bradley’s prep period! We all know how much my little stevie-boy loooves prep period…
What they call it: “Pouting Face”
What it really means:
Stephen––why the fuck is my 4th period class looking at me like I have three heads?? Who did you tell and more importantly WHY??
What they call it: “Double Exclamation Mark Ornament”
What it really means:
Delete. Every. Single. Text. NOW.
What they call it: “Question Mark Ornament”
What it really means:
Sorry––whose number is this? I don’t recognize the name “Stephen.”
What they call it: “Heavy Multiplication X”
What it really means:
Verizon Wireless could not reach this phone number due to an ongoing investigation. Please try again. Goodbye.
